TORN.

This week I attended a seminar with Jean-Martin Fortier, the author of The Market Gardener. My impetus for going was that JM makes over $100,000 a year per acre growing organic veggies, and it piqued my curiosity. Because to put that in perspective, we thought we were killing it by making $25,000 per acre.But there are several differences between what JM does and what we do, not the least of which is the equipment he uses. In the garden behind our house, Hannah and I don't use equipment. We use mulch to do our tilling, and a combination of rakes, broad forks and shovels to work up the soil if need be. In the big gardens that we farm with our neighbors, we use two different tractors. All JM uses is a small, but specific walking tractor which he utilizes to prepare, weed, and cultivate 30" permanent beds, growing almost as much food on one acre as we do on three. It's pretty impressive how productive this small machine can be, and it left at least 150 farmers at that seminar wanting one of these walking tractors. Honestly, I was not immune.More than anything, though, this left me torn. I want desperately to farm like JM. It speaks to me on an ineffable level to be that productive. Then there's the closet prepper side of me who wants to prepare myself and my family and my farm for a post-petroleum world, and not invest in oil-based machinery. Even if it looks really, really fun and really, really profitable. I want to be spending my time one day soon learning to use draft animals. Or figuring out a version of his system that can be done by hand. I may be able to talk Eric and Cher into implementing some of his practices in the big gardens, but really, without the specific machinery, it doesn't work the same. And I feel I want to start working away from more machinery, not towards it.Truth be told, his book and that seminar has put me at a sort of crossroads. Because it's not just about the money. That dude feeds an unreal amount of people, and I want that, too. He builds soil. He increases organic matter and sequesters carbon, he doesn't honestly use very much fuel, but still. He does use fuel.So, what's the answer? Is the answer to stay the course, work ourselves to death making a quarter of the money, feeding a quarter of the amount of people per acre? Or is it to implement some of his methods and make it work, fossil fuel dependance be dammed? I honestly have no idea, but I do know this, my idealism has officially met it's match.- Jesse.