“CAN I HELP YOU, PAPA?”

Further on compost.

There is nothing I want more for my child than to grow up around food, in the garden, outside, alongside us. But when trying to run a farm business, that dream gets complicated.Like any business, though this is especially true of farming, the success and longevity of our operation hinges on efficiency. It hinges, for us, on being able to spend as little time on our knees, or bent over, or out in the sun as possible while still accomplishing what we need. But then, in the middle of the workday, your son wants to help you and you know two things: 1) this is exactly what you had dreamed of when you started farming, and 2) it’s going to make the workday that much longer, slower, harder.Do I hate having that second thought? Of course I do. But this is the bizarre reality of farm life—your family and business are always occupying the same space even when their needs conflict. Whatever you do for work, just imagine trying to do it with an ever-present 3.5 year old.However, I have decided as of late to ignore that second point about my workday and just say yes, “Of course, baby boy, you can help your papa.”And you know what? Not only has he been helpful, but I’ve realized how little he actually slows me down. For a minute, maybe, but then he does his little bit of work and goes back to playing by himself. Or he continues to help me—handing me soil blocks, or grabbing a tool I need from the shed—genuinely making what I do easier. Part of this is his age and maturity. He’s grown up a lot this year.The other part of it is my age and maturity. I, too, have grown.I have always been a very serious employee. I have always dedicated myself to work in a way that is myopic, even unhealthy. This is the kitchen culture in which I learned to work and it is only work culture I know. So it so no surprise then that I would copy/paste this approach onto my own business—that I would struggle to integrate someone I love into something I actively make impersonal, prosaic, and painfully serious.But when I really step back and think about what I got into this farming thing for in the first place, I realize something jarring and profound: I never started farming to start a business. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. What I wanted was a family farm that fed a community, and a diverse, healthy life for my children. So when I don’t let them help me when they ask, all I have is what I never wanted.Luckily, I have come to find that all it takes to circumvent that fate is a few simple words.“Yeah, baby boy, let’s plant.” And together, we grow.

-Farmer Jesse

LITTLE HELPER.

The other night with some cold weather coming, Hannah, Further, and I headed out to the garden to cover some crops for the coming frosts. It was a little chilly and we had a lot of work to do, but Further really wanted to help. Of course, even when we’re in a rush, we try to encourage this. So I let him grab the end of the row cover and begin to pull the long, 100’ piece of fabric down the paths. And I watched somewhat in awe as he did precisely what we asked him to do.Now, I love my son dearly—DEARLY—but his role on this farm heretofore has been mostly that of an obstacle. As soon as we get in a good rhythm he gets upset, or gets hurt, or he gets too hot. That’s all fine. This is the life of farming with children and I care for my son’s safety and health above literally everything else on the planet. But he certainly makes farming challenging.However, as I watched him pulling that fabric down the paths it occurred to me that at some point in the not-so-distant future, my son will genuinely be helpful. I knew this when we decided to have a child, of course, but in our three years of watching him stomp on plants or crawl all over us when we were planting, I admit I had forgotten. I had forgotten there will come a day when I can ask him to help me in the garden, and he will be able to do it.Being helpful to us, though, isn’t the whole of the story. Being helpful could just as easily be doing his own thing while mama and papa work. It’s that he wants to be with us, to work in the garden. That’s what I find special. He will be asked to help the family sometimes, but I don’t ever want to force my son to farm—I don’t want to force my son into farming if it’s not something he wants to do. If we can inspire him to do it, however, that will be a success.So as this year wraps up I am looking forward to the Spring with our soon-to-be three-year-old. It will be another challenging season, no doubt, but if by the end of next year he still wants to help us pull the row cover, or plant the garlic as he did later in the week, then I will know we’re on the right track. In fact, I’m a little sad I didn’t get any pictures of him with that giant piece of fabric dragging behind him. It was pretty darn cute. But if we do a good job of this parenting thing, I’m sure I’ll have plenty more opportunities next year to snap some photos of our little farmer in action.- Jesse.