OUR FIRST OFFICIAL ACT OF PARENTING.

Further loves our water filter––it's kind of maddening. Now that he has learned to crawl, we will set him on the floor and he will use his newfound mobility to move swiftly to the water filter, reach for the tap, and try to dump all the water onto the floor.We are never far away, so we usually we just stand there patiently, gently blocking his hand from grabbing the tap while saying "No, Further, we do not play with the water filter," over and over. He then just looks at us curiously and tries again, but again we reject it. Finally, he'll get bored or frustrated and move on. But we don't want to just say "no no no" all the time. What we want to do is discourage him when using something is inappropriate, but then offer an emphatic "yes" when it is time to use it. So now, when we need to fill up a water bottle or a glass, we take Further over to the water filter and let him pull the tap, show him what it's for, then let him shut it off.Now, do we think our nine month old will suddenly get it? No. Not at all. We do not think he will just suddenly lose interest in the water filter at inappropriate times (update: he hasn't). If anything, he will have more interest in it than ever because we let him play with it for once. But if we continue to stop him from playing with it when there is no purpose, and let him use it when there is, then perhaps we can get him to understand that the water filter is a tool, or especially, if I may stretch this idea out a bit, that the stove is a tool.We are very diligent about the wood stove. So when it's going, we take him to it and let him watch me build a fire. We then hold his hand near by and let him feel the warmth while saying "HOT." As he gets older we'll let him help us collect kindling, build and (very far down the road) start the fire. Not because he will be able to do these things on his own anytime soon, but so he can see how it works, and get him used to the difference between a tool and a toy––create a habit out of using them correctly.Really, our goal as parents is not to just teach our child to be good or helpful or respectful, but to habituate him to it. We want him to look at the water filter and think, "If I want to use this, I need to fill something." Or at very least, "I can use this to fill something," which we conceded may be a glass, or a boot. Slowly, however, the time-and-place factor will become apparent. So in the same way your parents may have habituated you to clearing the table, or making your bed, or saying please and thank you, we want to habituate Further to everything we do. We want to habituate him to being helpful. Habituate him to being respectful of others. Habituate him to curiosity, to the joys of work, to eating well. Instead of always explaining to him why we do things, or just hoping he figures it out on his own, we want to also show him, involve him, and be consistent. Especially when he shows interest.But what do we know? We have only had a child since December so really, we have done no real parenting yet. Up until this crawling thing, he has just been another farm animal. Now, however, the real fun is beginning. And like our birth plan, we hope to stick to our parenting plan as much as we can (though like our birth plan, we know it needs to be malleable). But if nothing else, maybe it will save us some water.- Jesse.