ADJUSTING.

I milked Lily, our milk cow, on Saturday. This might not sound like a major achievement, but it was huge news around here. I have not milked since the Saturday that I went into labor - in fact, when I went to get my things together for milking, all of my supplies were stacked and ready where I left them four months ago.I have been adjusting to this motherhood thing. Besides the obvious - figuring out breastfeeding, cloth diapers, babywearing, how to put clothes on a newborn (this is seriously not simple) - I have been adjusting to farming with a baby. Trying to balance Further on my hip while also watering the seedlings and swatting away the wasps that live in the greenhouse. Cultivating the transplants while Further tries to grab the hoe while bouncing in his front carrier. Scrambling to wash the dishes, make the bed, go to the bathroom, change out of my pajamas, clean and dry and fold the diapers - all in 15 minute increments between the baby's naps and nursings. It is tough, y'all. Sometimes I work so hard to get myself and Further ready, wrangle him into his carrier and gather together diapers and wipes and extra clothes. I grab my water bottle, stuff some giant nursing pads into my bra, and just as we head out the door to walk to the garden and join the crew - Jesse comes back to the house and tells me they are already finished. It is hard to not feel useless, even though I KNOW that what I am doing is not nothing. Mothering is not nothing. Still, though...sometimes I don't feel all that productive. Especially during those early weeks, it was hard to feel productive when all I could say by the end of the day was that I was wearing real pants and half of the pile of dishes had been washed and we only had one poop explosion.But lately - I feel like I am hitting my stride. I am figuring it out, getting the hang of it. As Further gets older and I get more practice, everything becomes less dramatic and confusing and more just...normal. I feel helpful and able to contribute. And like I said, I started milking again! This was a big step for me - a small hour to myself (the longest I had every been away from Further) and a time to reflect on all the changes that have taken place since my last time at the milking stanchion in December. As the spring is roaring into life around us these days, I am thankful for the timing of Further's birth, for a few precious months that allowed this smooth transition, this time to adjust.- Hannah.